My mom never NEVER liked my ex boyfriend. She swears he was never good enough for me. In her defense, as a Mother, I can imagine that no one will ever be good enough for your children, especially your only daughter. After every time we broke up, Mom prayed it would be the last time and for about three or four times it was not. This last time however, Diosito finally made it happen for her (and for me of course). Anyway, my Mom is one of those Mothers that constantly has something to say about my life. I don’t really mind it anymore, I just ignore what I don’t want to hear. However, most of the time she has very wise things to say and I do keep her advice in mind. So when she told me that I should find someone, I knew she meant it. She asked me if I still had feelings for my ex boyfriend to which I responded “No MOM.” She then said something that made me realize what I was doing... She said “Perdiste mucho tiempo con ese muchacho y para que... Conoce a alguien mas, has tu vida.” Translation: “You wasted a lot of time with that boy and for what... Meet someone, live your life.” So here I am...
As of last last July, I started dating on and off . At first, there was a small part of me which could not see myself with anyone else. Even though it had already been decided that our break was for good, it was still very difficult. With that being said, I should also mention that walking into the college dating life, at first, I was a bit intimidated. In high school it was very common, at least for me, to like boys that were not as smart as I was. You know the bad boys, the wannabe gangsters or the football players. In college this was completely different as here I began to meet very educated men who were engineering or economic majors etc... However, just because a guy goes to college does not make him any better than a guy who does not!!!!!! My first two quarters as a Freshman had been very low key, as of course, I spent most (not all) of my free time with my boyfriend. Luckily, spring quarter arrived and we had broken up. Not long after, I joined an organization which encouraged me to get involved with on-campus activities and with my comunidad. After joining I met many new people with which I established stronger connections throughout the summer and into my Sophomore year. Fall quarter of my second year arrived and so began my most exciting year as an Undergrad, up until now. Winter quarter was essentially the beginning of the Dating Game Challenge. Anyhow, dating at first was very difficult and I was definitely giving off a “not so approachable” vibe. I turned down getting to know several guys that quarter because I was just not looking for anything yet. I am thankful for having had this period as it gave me the necessary time to consider what I needed and wanted from my dating life. I was sure at that point that I was not ready for a relationship as the bitter taste of defeat still remained from my last unsuccessful relationship.
Onto something else! The term “_blank_ goggles” was introduced to me by my best friend who is a student at a mostly all guys automotive school. I will often refer to him so lets call him E. So E introduced the term goggles to me when he explained that at his school there were only a handful of girls. He was explaining to me that the girls at his school were not necessarily very cute but they received a lot of attention from the guys there. He said the guys had “Auto goggles” because to those guys at this University a girl who, elsewhere would be considered a 4 on a sexy-o-meter, there was considered a 7. LOL. At that moment I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever heard! Then I stopped and it hit me; I have Dance goggles! One thing that I absolutely cannot stand and that I hate about myself are my Dance goggles! Although I have tried to change (not so hard but I have tried) I continue to be unsuccessful. I just love men who can dance! Anyway, I usually go for the best dancer in the room! The problem with that is that I often pass up men who cannot dance! I know, I know I need to stop this and I promise I will work on it ;) I love to dance. I am definitely not going to say I am a sick ass dancer but I mean I enjoy dancing and that is what matters right? I tell everyone that if you go on the dance floor and have fun people will assume you know what you are doing! Funny thing is that a lot of the guys that I have met and dated were introduced to me in a setting where the first thing we did was dance.
Now onto my very FIRST Date during this challenge! I definitely learned a lot from the first guy I dated. I was introduced to him at a party. That same night, we had made plans to see each other at another party and we kind of started talking from there... I had mixed emotions to whether I liked him or not. To me, some type of attraction is important and when I don’t feel any chemistry with a guy I don’t consider it for very long. However, I did feel a little more pressured into liking him as a lot of people around us would ask us about each other. I was not able to form my own opinion about him initially because EVERYONE had something to say about him... Good and bad.We hung out a handful of times but I wasn't entirely sure.
PROBLEM #1 That IDK feeling...
Most likely if I feel any doubt about someone, any doubt whatsoever, its the cue to stop seeing them. I have noticed that my gut feeling is right 95% of the time. I hate that I ignore it so often. Honestly, there are times I wish I could go back and have trusted my initial feelings about a guy. In spite of this, I don't necessarily consider my dates mistakes as I believe these men I have encountered have helped me learn more about myself and of life.
Problem #2 DECIDE FOR YOURSELF
I love it when my friends tell me things about the guys I am seeing. Negative or positive, I just love knowing that my friends are concerned and are looking out for me. Nonetheless, there will always be someone that wants to kill the vibe and be negative about a guy for no reason. Don't get me wrong, I do think it is very important to listen to my friends but I am a smart girl and if you weren't there and you didn't see it I won't trust 100%. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt so I try to get to know them, not just guys. On the other hand, I do think it is very important to take care of myself and to listen closely. If I have heard a guy is not the nicest I will definitely be on the defense. I will not give him the opportunity to hurt me. If I feel at all uncomfortable with his presence it will for sure be the last time I see him. If someone treats me nicely and with respect, I won’t let others’ opinions affect my impression of them.
Stay tuned, stay classy and Like my Soy Aly page on Facebook everyone!! I will be posting updates of my new blogs. Stay tuned to some fun stuff I plan on doing! ;)
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