FIRST DATE type of Girl

Gathering my thoughts for this blog was somewhat of a challenge for me. Not to mention that it has been a very busy eventful week. I do apologize about being so late on this post!

CAUTION: The thoughts I write below are my own personal beliefs. I am aware that there will be people who will disagree with my views. Nonetheless, I would like to add there is no right or wrong way to live. No right or wrong way to date or to build a relationship; however there is a right way for me (and for you of course). I live my life the way I please and I encourage others to do the same.

With that being said, I have always thought it was interesting that before people get to know me, they often make assumptions about my life. I suppose this happens to everyone but for some reason people have difficulty reading me (I guess I am a strange person). They initially assume I am  promiscuous or boy crazy which are both not true. People often misconceive my outgoing personality for something its not as a consequence people make incorrect assumptions of my dating habits. I mention this because guys often do this also! (which is especially frustrating) They have expectations about dates with me and assume they can get farther then they will. (Which is not far at all! LOL more on that later!)  I consider myself a very old fashioned/traditional woman to an extent. There is nothing wrong with promiscuity, the way I see it is that if that is what a person chooses to do then all the power to them. I feel that sex is IMPORTANT, a lot more important and special than many people consider it. Now people have sex early on in relationships and give little time to dating and getting to know a person, unfortunately. Personally, I feel that promiscuity is not for me. I will not live my life this way because, as I have written in my past blogs, I know my own worth. What I mean by this is that I want to be taken seriously and for the person I am with to also know my worth.  I believe everyone has a dating type. With that being said, before I explain these different categories, I must clarify that there is nothing wrong with being classified under any of these styles considering that we are mindful of the person you are dating’s feelings (bf/gf/ lover etc) and are honest at all times.These are the dating styles I have encountered the most recently...

To begin I want to start with the type of people that, unfortunately, make it difficult for us all and considerably complicate things for themselves. The dating style that is the most frustrating for me. These are the people that CANNOT be alone. By this, I am describing the people that always ALWAYS need to have someone in their life and in their heart. These are the people that always want to be taken. They like to be needed and enjoy having someone to depend on. Those in this category are not necessarily always on the hunt but they do not appreciate regained freedom the way others do.

Next is the group that is completely closed off from Love. They do not want to know anything about dating and relationships. No one is worth them losing their independence. They believe love makes them vulnerable, a situation they do not want to be in EVER. They would rather be alone. They believe love, dating and relationships are a pointless risk. They question the need for it and would much rather stay away. Honestly, I can’t blame them because sometimes it feels that way... right?

Last but not least, is traffic light dating. I call it traffic light dating because a person starts dating then stops and starts again then stops again... They can’t seem to find what they are looking for and when they think they have found it, something goes wrong. This is me. For you to better understand me, I am a one date type of girl. By this I mean that I go on a lot of first dates. For one reason or another things don’t work out. I may not like him, he may not like me or maybe there was just no chemistry. Although I am definitely old school, I consider myself a traffic light dater to the MAX. I find myself on first dates very frequently. The best way to explain the way I feel is by saying this... I love my freedom and I am not willing to give it up for someone I am not certain (absolutely) deserves me...

More on these categories later! I promise I am going somewhere with this!

I decided to begin to write about something, or better yet, someone that has come up in conversation pretty often in the past couple of weeks. But before I get to that I want to give you a little bit of background so you better understand me, him and the situation. This story is about Xavi; he was guy number two in the Dating Game Challenge. Anyway, this story will be split in half because I feel it is very important to talk about it ALL and for space’s sake it would be nice to have two posts devoted to my experience with him. So... Here I go!

I first laid eyes on Xavier at a large event at my school that he was participating in. I had seen him around campus before but did not think much of him. I mean, he was handsome but that was it... On my college campus, yes, you see handsome guys here and there but rarely do you get the opportunity to have a one on one conversation with them if you don’t have a class together or are introduced. I finally got to meet Xavi at a small get together at some friends’ house. That night, a friend of his was putting in serious work trying to mac (LOL this means being flirty trying to talk to me) but to be honest, I was not interested. I was actually not interested in much that night. I was there to have a good time with friends without drinking because I was driving. So some music comes on and everyone wants to dance. Of course, there I go dancing with my girls. Eventually, I danced with a couple of the guys. Then I danced with Xavi. It was not necessarily his looks because there were definitely a handful of good looking guys that night but there was just something else about him that I liked. He asked me to dance and while we danced we talked about a baile that was going to happen later that month in a city nearby. (For those of you that do not know what a baile is, it is a dance)For those of you that know about banda, Banda el Recodo is THE ABSOLUTE best. Period. End of story! It was one of those bailes with a sick ass line up of the greatest of the greatest bandas. I was still undecided but I really wanted to go. Xavi mentioned he was interested in going also. We danced a couple of songs together and we parted ways. I saw him throughout the night but I ended up dancing with another guy the rest of the night which was cool he was a good dancer. No complaints. So that was that...

A couple of days later after doing my research about the baile, I heard that the same exact line up would be at an even closer venue! I was really excited to hear that because it would be a for sure thing to see La Banda el Recodo. So of course, I busted out the handy dandy facebook and I searched him, at this point he had already requested me and we were friends... I also knew, I wanted him there with me at the baile! So I messaged him and told him and thats where it all began.

Xavi and I started talking on the regular... He asked me for my phone number and before I knew it we were texting pretty consistently. Prior to this we realized we had a bunch of things in common, of course we liked the same music, we both LOVED the same baseball team and we a similar sense of humor. The first time we hung out he asked me out for coffee. I will be honest, I woke up early to do my hair for this guy. Thats a big thing considering that at that moment I worked at a restaurant and I had little time for myself or for anything that wasn’t school and school work. Xavi could talk for days! We talked about so many different things; we talked about our families, life, friends. We had a good time. Then he broke it down for me...

Xavi had just gotten out of a long term relationship about a week before that day we were hanging out... He told me about her, about their differences and the reason of their breakup in general. He was being honest and I appreciate that he was. We were walking to my car and he asked me how I felt about it... I returned the honesty he had offered me earlier. I told Xavi that I did think he was a cool guy and of course that he was handsome, no secret at all. I said I knew where he was coming from and that I enjoyed his company. Then I proposed to him that if he wanted to, we should keep hanging out. To which he replied that he wanted the same thing... He was just out of a relationship and at that moment he was not ready to start something else. There I told him no I mean, we are just friends. That is where it all began, and the story gets more complicated than this... Stay tuned for the second part of this story... **Cliff hanger**